


Empty Photographs

by obsessionofcookies



Series: Death by the He name [1]
Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Angst, Child Neglect?, Childhood, Family, Family Issues, He tian's Childhood, I'm Bad At Tagging, Isolation, headcanons, headcanons about He tian and him growing up, i just wanted to write a backstory for Tian or what i think Old Xian might do?, i will probably change the summary at some point, i will try to be inline with canon up until now only, no romance till later parts, smol!Tian, this is basically he tian: a summary of his life, young He Tian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 02:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13626615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessionofcookies/pseuds/obsessionofcookies
Summary: The He Family have a photo album somewhere hidden in the depths of their labyrinth household. Tian is half-aware of the said photographs existence, equivalent to how he's aware that his brother hates learning the English language and that his father despises messiness to a spartan degree of hiring a total of 6 or more maids to hover around their home daily. He isn't completely certain of said photos existence since he's never had a large photo album labelled by year lying about their home. But, they likely do, since his father's employees take photos of them when his father forces his two sons to stand stiffly in forced pleased expressions in front of the lens of some fancy camera. The photos may contain people but when a young Tian finally stumbles upon a single polaroid of him and his brother standing in their father's forceful hand's grip, he mainly notices the sterile environment of their living room's empty furniture. The dark blankness of his father's eyes leeches onto the two boys so that they all appear in a lifeless limbo, standing on non-existent floorboards. When Tian stares into this abandoned solitary photo he can only see a deafening empty household with three complete strangers standing hollowly.





	Empty Photographs

**Author's Note:**

> this fanfic exists because i had so many headcanons about Tian's family after the chapter where there's a flashback of he tian and he cheng going camping and tian saving the dog. I started working on this around that time i think? This fic is mainly focused (at first) on he tian and his family's life, and specifically how him and his brother's relationship have become so distant. I wanted to explore the falling out between them and the possibility of repairing their relationship? Then again, He cheng can turn out to be a bad guy and my headcanon can be wrong, so i'm posting this asap before new development lol. ^.^ also this may seem super westernized rather than true to the source material's setting.

He Tian is quite young when his mind begins to notice his family is not typical in comparison to his classmates. It’s the first memory He Tian can accurately recall very well. He had been around five years old, almost 6 at the time and staying after school with the other children who had parents that worked, except He Tian’s housemaid came to pick him up instead of tired disheveled office worker parents holding dripping umbrellas and relieved to see their small children after a hard day at work.

Since his brother is older he walks home along with his friends and He Tian is stuck awkwardly walking beside a woman he can barely remember the name of all the way to the expensive looking car where a chauffeur sits patiently. He always tipped his hat at He tian in formal greeting and form of acknowledgement. The chauffeur drove them back home and his brother always arrived an hour later with loud stories about his friends. He Cheng’s mere presence a catalyst to loud sounds that ricochet off the walls and with simple stories skipping past his smile he dismantles their silent home’s lifeless existence. 

Home was a hotel room, but it was all He Tian had been aware of at the time so at 5 he had assumed everyone lived in tall large buildings with chauffeurs, maids, and concierges answering phones at the desk. His childhood was far from average in comparison to his classmates and it is on a rainy September day when He Tian first becomes aware of his family’s strangeness.

The other kids had been bragging right before the parental pickup time and the teachers were chatting near Miss Fong’s desk, Fong herself seeming completely drained as she relaxed in her rolling chair, and the other teacher He Tian forgot the name of - because she wasn’t his teacher - was crossing her arms laughing at the other woman’s tired expression. He Tian registered the enthusiastic ramblings of his classmates, his skinny body towards the back of the crowd after his eyes leave their resting point on his teachers. Adults were still weird to him and he often didn’t understand how fast they spoke confusing words or their mannerisms. The kids around him were easy to understand from their large smiles, to jumping around with clenched fists in obvious excitement or clapping hands in celebration. The actions were simple minded and far less subtle as adults were. The adults roaming He Tian’s home such as the housemaids felt like stone statues placed in a living space, often expressionless and lacking in any life in their cold eyes. None of them seem pleased to be standing in the He home, no matter how many times their family moved. The housemaid’s shoulders were rigid and taut with tension regardless of who they are. Their stone-cut backs with rigid ironed skirts and cold demeanors never changed. Often times Tian felt the women were stationed at an army base rather than taking care of cleaning a home.

He Tian copies his classmates excited movements and is in relief with how easily excitement flows through all of the children crowding around the boy who started this explosion of chatter. He is murmuring in unknown agreement to what’s being said, unaware of what the other kids were even speaking of in the first place. The idea of being left out often bothered him in ways he didn’t know of as a young child.

“I heard that toy was _so good_ to play with!”

“I saw it on T.V! I want one so much but it’s _way_ too much money!”

“Yeah! Who can get it?! Ugh!”

The boy who first mentioned it sighed and his brown curly hairs became more messy as he shook his head angrily. “I want it so bad, the City High Racecar is so cool! Dad and I always play with my toys when he’s done work, after dinner, it’s so much fun!”

“Oh, my mom plays with me too!” a girl rushes to exclaim in agreement and soon all the other kids are saying how great their parents are at playing with them, others say some just watch them play but encourage them to continue on playing. He Tian immediately wishes for a change in topic for the situation makes his body tense awkwardly and be a stranger amongst his classmates just because he has no such story to tell of his parent. His Father never once glanced at his toys or asked to join his fun games with mini toy cars, stuffed cute looking animals or dump trucks. Uneasiness overwhelms his senses for the first time among his peers, he has never felt this out of the children’s loop before. He internally dreads being pestered by his peers for his own experiences.

The uneasiness taking shape in his mind at being singled out intensifies tenfold when one of his friend’s eyes land on him and ask him what his parents do. The boy next him asks the same question as well, until the whole group of kids in the after school care program stare at him in eerie silence for a response.

There is a terrible pressure building up in his heart that he hated, his face felt like it was on fire for some reason despite the children’s eyes holding no flames to his round cheeks. He felt confused and embarrassed under the eerie expectant stares of his fellow classmates. In order to abate these uncomfortable feelings, Tian quickly rushes to agree and lied freely without a missed beat of consideration for his white lie - that his father played with him at home. 

His father didn’t even come home when he was still awake most of the time, in fact He Tian couldn’t remember the last day he saw his Father’s characteristic broad shoulders and clean cut appearance. The man often came home late into the night long after Tian had closed his eyes to go to sleep. His father’s tall overshadowing body loomed in a way that left He Tian uncomfortable, which was why he rarely even looked at his Father’s face. He could only recall the back of his head clearly at 5 and a half years old. The older man’s head of hair was a dark brown, almost black, similar in appearance to Cheng’s hair, but slicked back with gel that caused it to shine in whichever home they were in. He Tian doesn't think he has ever touched those short hairs before and the idea of getting that close to the aloof man is far scarier than any horror movie Cheng mentions. The housemaids were also considered part of their “household family” in Tian’s mind. He vaguely registered their faces more clearly than his Father's but couldn’t remember names because of the amount of times they were replaced in a month's time. Tian thinks there are a team of caretakers his Father hires to watch them. But Cheng doesn’t look up from his plate whenever the maids serve them dinner or even bother with a thank you. His eyes are either glued to the steaming foods or across the dinner table at the still playing T.V.; his brother doesn’t consider the maids to be in any sense close to their familial circle. 

He Tian felt guilty after his classmates attention waned from him, but no one was able to discern his lie as a lie, everyone continued on in their talk of this great new toy that He Tian never heard of. His classmates start saying maybe their parents will give it as a surprise gift for all their siblings, so that the cost doesn’t matter because it will be for two kids not one. He tian once again feels lost in this conversation. He doesn't understand; his brother gets bored with his toys and wrinkles his nose after five minutes of playing along with Tian and tells him to play on his own.

_"I'm 12 now I don't have time for baby toys Tian," his brother said after throwing the toy a large distance over the kitchen table and nearly hitting a housemaid in the face as she walked by. Cheng had scurried away to the PC in his room in order to chat with his friends in the messaging program Tian doesn’t understand how to use._

The children around him continue talking about the toy until slowly parents begin showing up, and due to becoming tired of attempting to keep up with their fast excited ramblings, he ends up sitting down to draw by himself. His white sheet of paper is filled more with frustrated angry scribbles rather than animals he likes.

When the housemaid arrived to pick him up, he’s the last child waiting and his teacher gave his shoulder a tight squeeze that he expected was supposed to feel encouraging. Walking to the car he felt like his shoulder should be hurting more, maybe with a bruise from the force of her nails attempting to be encouraging to the young boy, but instead his chest felt bruised, a lingering pain that sunk heavily on his shoulders; he hadn’t done anything to his chest all day to be a cause of it. He Tian imagines little insects digging into his heart and crawling into his lungs so that it starts to feel like an effort to continue breathing and so his chest is heavy with the weight of bugs rather than the weight of an emotion he cannot recognize. He Tian can recall the image of a dead baby bird he found when walking in the city, infested with ants crawling over it’s lifeless carcass. The animal was abandoned and left to the insects to feed on. He wonders if that was what is happening to him, if tomorrow his chest will be crawling with so many bugs that they will eat through his skin and leave his bones exposed. The thought terrified him.

“My chest hurts,” he blurts out loud while staring out the window in the sleek black car. The rain is still pouring harshly over the expensive car speeding along the busy city roads.

He turned his head to the caretaker who didn’t hear his tinny voice since he spoke them too fast over the rain tapping against the windows, drowning the sounds escaping from his mouth.

She tilted her head in an attempt to lean closer to him, “Huh? What did you say?” Her expression is as stoney as usual and He Tian doesn’t think he recognizes her features. She must be a new maid. He feels the insects in his chest curling into his fingers, making them shake uncontrollably.

He twiddles his fingers to rid of their frustrated tremors and shrugs at her with a forced polite smile, “Miss, what’s for dinner?”

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyy, can you tell this was inspired from after that picture of young he tian crying over a toy was released? yeah that inspired this fic lol, be ready for angst my lovely readers!!! hope you liked this small little prologue~I wanted to post this before any new developments happen in the manhua and i likely won't be able to update this till april because university this semester has too much of a reading load and assignment load on me and i have zero extra time to update weekly, or even monthly, so for now this is the prologue and i will continue again over my summer break when i have WAY more free time! i guess this can be seen as a teaser of sorts unless i find enough time to write a second chapter for next month lol. Also: recent chapters of the comic have actually mirrored what i planned/predicted for the story i was writing?? specifically the recent update bout Tian's nightmare, i planned something similar happening to the dog already and lol Old Xian had it in a nightmare, while i planned for it being a real-life memory, but its still possible it was a memory or a nightmare stemmed from losing the dog?? Idk, but i already was thinking similarly to old xian which i was happy about!!!


End file.
